We've been here before…
England 2-0 down in an away series and fans fearing Australia legend Glenn McGrath's unwavering prediction of a 5-0 whitewash.
That fate, suffered most recently in 2013/14, was avoided in 2017/18 and 2021/22 by draws in Melbourne and Sydney respectively but in this fast-forward era of Test cricket (the first two Ashes clashes have often accelerated quicker than ) draws hardly happen.
England may have to win a game to avoid the sweep. They need three wins from three for a series victory.
The tourists have shown in Perth and Brisbane that they have the weaponry to do that, but do they have the wisdom and wherewithal? There have been countless examples across the losses at Optus Stadium and The Gabba to suggest not.
England prepared for this series for the best part of four years yet are on the brink after six days of cricket. The . The .
ahead of the second Test. Maybe he is right. Perhaps they should have played a pink-ball warm-up instead...
England are not definitely doomed in The Ashes - with three games still to play, in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney, Stokes' side could yet pull off the heist of all heists - but they now have no room for error and that is almost entirely their own fault.
It would be wrong to overlook the part Australia have played in their opponents' plight, though. We keep hearing this is a far from vintage Baggy Greens team - the worst in 15 years, said Stuart Broad - and that may be true, but the hosts have won the main moments and had players stand up when needed, most notably Mitchell Starc.
The left-arm quick really is living his best life: 18 wickets at an average of 14; a gritty 77 off 141 balls from the No 9 spot in Perth as he played a battling knock with the bat England's top order could learn from; back-to-back Player of the Match accolades.
Starc has often carried the attack in the absence of Pat Cummins (back) and Josh Hazlewood (hamstring) but been supported at key junctures - by Scott Boland in England's second innings at Perth, by Michael Neser on the fourth day in Brisbane.
Travis Head humped that dazzling 69-ball ton in the first Test, while all 11 off Australia's batters reached double figures in their first innings in the second. Alex Carey's wicketkeeping has been impeccable, dwarfing that of England's Jamie Smith, who has endured one hell of an initiation into Ashes cricket.
But the mess England find themselves in is perhaps 90 per cent self-inflicted. Just look at the mistakes they have made, the promising positions they have thrown away.
After a lower-order first-innings collapse in Perth brainlessly taking on the big boundaries, England then proceeded to wilt from 65-1 in their second dig - at which point they led by 105 - to 164 all out, featuring a meltdown of 0-3 in six balls as Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root were removed driving on the up.
If it's accurate driving you want, stick with and his F1 colleagues. Not the England men's cricket team.
Brook was also a culprit on day one at The Gabba, with the most skittish of innings ending when he slashed the second ball of Starc's twilight spell to Steve Smith at slip, exposing England's lower middle order to Australia's pink-ball marvel.
The vice-captain both intoxicates and infuriates. He has the ability to collar any attack to any part of the ground but seemingly an inability to assess match situations.
England's bowlers don't get off scot-free either.
They were absolutely awful at the start of Australia's first innings. Short and wide most of the time, allowing oodles of runs to be scored behind square on the off-side with cuts, and overpitching in other periods as the home side cantered to 146-2.
When the seamers finally got it right under the lights, dragging England back into the game, a further four catches were grassed, to go with the one wicketkeeper Smith shelled moving to his left earlier on as he fluffed the chance to dismiss Head for three.
The next day, England went through the motions while bowling to Starc and Australia's obdurate tail. The hosts batted for time, not quick runs, ensuring they would have a new pink ball in the night-time period later on, showing a nous their rivals lack.
The intensity returned for England's seamers in the dying embers of the fourth day - Jofra Archer's battles with Jake Weatherald and, in particular, Steve Smith, were box office - but Australia were only chasing 65 to win by then. "Bowl fast when there's nothing going on, champion," were Smith's words to Archer during their duel. Quite.
But perhaps the most brain-frying episode of the Brisbane Test was England's batting in the night session on day three. Just like in their second innings in Perth, they were one down and doing okay. And just like in their second innings in Perth, they drove their fans to despair by stupidly driving Australia's bowlers on the up.
Rinse and repeat.
Pope out on the drive. Crawley out on the drive. The great Root (two days after his long-awaited first away Ashes ton) out on the drive. Smith out on the drive. Driving on the up is criminal on bouncy Australian pitches - even more so with a nipping pink ball - yet England keep doing it. And,
If the captain (Ben Stokes) and a man playing in just his third Test (Will Jacks) can , then why can't the others? Either the messaging is being ignored or it is incoherent.
Judging by the way Stokes questioned his players' mentality and failure to stand up to pressure in a series of interviews after their Gabba drubbing, you sense that messaging will be loud and clear now. 'Shape up or get out' could be the gist of the conversations.
The skipper said Australia is no place for "weak men" and while he did not explicitly call his team weak, if he spots a scintilla of negativity from anyone ahead of the third Test you can probably be sure they will not take to the field at Adelaide Oval.
Stokes has shown that Bazball is more nuanced than just playing aggressive shots ad nauseum and his team-mates need to take that on board with this series in danger of running away from them.
Management must also shoulder some of the blame, though. The squad has no back-up opener to pressure Crawley or the seriously out-of-form Ben Duckett and no spare wicketkeeper who can perhaps take the struggling Smith out of the firing line.
The fact that Smith's first experience against the pink ball came in an Ashes Test also looks an enormous oversight.
England's decision to only play one warm-up fixture - against their B team, the Lions, on a docile deck at Lilac Hill that in no way replicated the conditions they came up against in the Test matches at Perth and Brisbane - also continues to be slammed in some quarters.
Stokes and his side can still win the Ashes 3-2 but, right now, 5-0 remains very much on. England have had their moments in this series and dropped the ball (literally and figuratively).
That's what hurts most of all.
All times UK and Ireland
